The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

Archive for the ‘Widows’ Category

Important luncheon club update

with 5 comments

Whilst waiting for a train connection at York railway station the other day, I pounced on the opportunity to purchase a copy of the Gazette & Herald,  self-proclaimed as “Ryedale’s biggest selling weekly newspaper”.

It turns out it has one of those wonderful sections which details the social minutiae of parochial life, divided by village. Some of the villages have incredible names, such as Brompton By Sawdon and, my favourite, Huttons Ambo.

If you want to know who made the picnic, whose wheelchairs were pushed by whom and the scores from the local bridge club, look no further than the Gazette & Herald.

This stuff is genuinely printed for wider consumption.

Written by Paddy

August 9, 2010 at 11:49 am

Widow + foxy nappy = not happy

with one comment

It’s interesting when news reports open with irrelevant detail about the person involved in the story; particularly when style guide conventions mean the detail is in capital letters.

“A WIDOW says foxes are raiding rubbish bags…”

Does widow status lend some form of legitimacy to what you say? Is that what this is about?

“A WIFE says foxes are raiding rubbish bags…”

Well, in that case, I don’t believe a ruddy word of it.

Waltham Forest Guardian, 10 June 2010 (story):

Foxes create nappy mess

A WIDOW says foxes are raiding rubbish bags and littering her garden with soiled nappies.

Wildlife experts believe the fox which attacked baby twins Lola and Isabella Koupparis as they slept in their cots last week may have mistaken the smell of the dirty nappies for food.

Jean Farmer, of Colchester Road, Leyton, thinks they could be right as her beloved garden is often strewn with used nappies brought in by neighbourhood foxes.

She said: “I get so frustrated because this has been going on for six months now. There are usually quite a few nappies when it happens. It maybe happens three nights a week.”

Mrs Farmer, who is proud of her 90ft-long garden, said she and her lodger share the responsibility of clearing up the unpleasant mess.

She said: “I’m a former nurse but as I’ve got older my stomach has become more sensitive.”

Alright, luv, there’s no need to talk us through your nappy-filling process. Even if you are a widow and therefore anything you do or say is worthy of media attention.

The photo is marvellous: the carefully placed nappies; the “what the hell?” hand gestures; the ill-advised headwear; and the general scarecrow gait of the widow. Superb. Thank you to Angry People in Local Newspapers for drawing it to my attention.

Written by Paddy

July 15, 2010 at 11:13 am

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