The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

Archive for the ‘Chickens’ Category

The chicken curry with no chicken in it

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Heard about the time the Worcester News took on retail giant Asda, and won? If not, then you’re clearly not reading the Worcester News enough.

But first things first. Personally, if I bought an Asda chicken curry ready meal which was missing the ‘chicken’, I’d be mightily relieved rather than get all miserable and Gazette-Facey about it.

Worcester News, 23 February 2013 (story):

The chicken curry – with no chicken in it

A FURIOUS shopper has vowed never to return to a supermarket after he found his chicken curry contained no chicken.

chicken curry

Darren Ford bought the meal from Asda in St Martin’s Quarter, Worcester, on Monday as part of a £6 deal. But when his family sat down to eat the food on Wednesday night, they were shocked to find the curry contained just sauce.

The married father-of-one then had to spend a further £20 on a takeaway to feed his wife Louise, 14-year-old Tara and her friend. However, when the trained chef complained to Asda, they refused to reimburse him for the extra expense.

The 44-year-old, of Guildford Close, Ronkswood, said: “It’s not something we regularly do because I’m a chef, but as it was the Brits and my wife had been working all week we thought we’d have it.

“I put it in the oven and I’m looking at it and thinking, ‘Where’s the chicken?’. We had to spend £20 on a takeaway because I can’t drive and it was late at night. I phoned customer services to be told I was only going to get a refund and a £5 gift voucher. I’ve told them they can keep their gift card and I won’t be going in there again.”

Thankfully, the Worcester News stepped in and saved the day, in a dispute which I’m sure went all the way to Walmart HQ .

After your Worcester News contacted Asda, they upped their offer to Mr Ford to a £35 voucher. He said he would spend the gift card on “anything but food”.

Maybe he can visit the books section and use the voucher for some cookbooks. He is a chef after all.

Thanks to Ben Chisnall.

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Written by Paddy

April 5, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Enormous Massive Egg

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Bolton awoke to the news today that customers are literally flocking to a local shop to get a glimpse of a wonder egg that has sent shock waves across the world. Well, the hen and grocery worlds at least.

The Bolton News, 05 February 2013 (story)

ONE hen has performed “eggs-tradinary” — after laying one of Britain’s biggest eggs.

Note to editor: if you’re happy to publish an article la(i)den with egg-scruciating egg puns, please ensure that the first one is not only hard-hitting but is also correctly spelt and makes sense.

But I digress.

The egg, which came from a chicken at an allotment in Breightmet, is four times the usual size of an egg.

It weighs 6.75oz (191g) is 8.25in in circumference and is 4in tall.

Normally, a large egg in the UK would weight about 73g.

Now I’m interested, tell me more.

Terry Paulcrompton was so “eggs-static” when he discovered the giant egg he took it to show his pal Laszlo Hamar, owner of nearby Wise Buys Discount Store in Bury Road. Mr Hamar said: “It’s the biggest egg I have ever seen. It’s absolutely enormous.

Quiet at the back.

Terry was really shocked when he found it, and when I saw it I couldn’t believe it either. “We have been looking on the internet and we think it’s one the biggest eggs ever laid in England.”

Terry looking shocked

Terry’s pal Lazlo showing off the massive egg

Not just the largest egg laid in England, Terry, but the largest in Britain!

Because apparently:

The largest egg laid in Britain weighed in at 6.6oz and was produced by a Rhode Island chicken last year.

That, if my maths is correct, is a whole 0.15oz lighter than Terry’s find. Like Neil Kinnock, Kris Akabusi must be All Right-ing at the news.

And it’s not just the two pals that are egg-cited by their find.

…visitors have been flocking to view the egg, which is now on display at the shop.

Mr Hamar, aged 55, from Ainsworth, said: “Lots of people have been coming in to take photos of it.”

“Everyone is really shocked when they see it.”

Shell shocked, one can only assume. Much like the poor mother hen.

Written by MK

February 5, 2013 at 9:44 pm

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