Fingergeddon in Whitby
I’ve always thought there’s something a bit strange about Whitby but, until now, have never quite been able to put my finger on it.
Whitby Gazette, 13 Janauary 2014:
Beach searches taking place after finger found
Coastguard teams are scouring Whitby beach by torchlight tonight (Monday 5.30pm) after reports that a finger was found by a dog walker nearby.
The Whitby Gazette understands that the digit was found on the Black Steps leading up to Mulgrave Road.
More details to follow.
A detached, dead finger; the very worst kind of digit to find. Far worse than beginning a meal and finding a child has dipped its thumb in your creamy mash, and even worse than opening your bedroom curtains in the morning to find ‘666’ dripping in the condensation on the glass. A detached, dead finger brings a particular brand of horror and an avalanche of questions: is it an old finger or a young finger? Did the finger ever truly know the love of a warm hand? Was the fingernail well-groomed? When did the finger last make a good point?
I suppose now we’ll never know…
Whitby Gazette, 14 January 2014:
Police say beach ‘finger’ actually seaweed
Emergency searches in Whitby were called off after a ‘human finger’ discovered on the beach was revealed to be a piece of seaweed.
The grim discovery was made by a dogwalker on Monday afternoon and prompted emergency searches, including Whitby’s Coastguard team.
However, the ‘finger’ was later examined by crime scene investigators who confirmed the object was not a human body part, but actually a piece of kelp or seaweed.
Typical. What an anti-climax.