The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

Jerk chicken pandemonium

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Who knew that a general fondness for chicken could result in mass pandemonium, defecation in front gardens and, worse, rogue parking? Not the concerned residents of Lewisham.

You would think a museum which calls itself ‘Horniman’ should know the perils of a ‘jerk’.

Lewisham News Shopper, 23 April 2012 (story): 

Museum plans threatened by jerk chicken ‘pandemonium’

A MUSEUM which wants an extension to its booze licence has a fight on its hands from people who remember “pandemonium” when 20,000 jerk chicken fans descended on the premises in 2009.

Hungry masses flocked to the Horniman Museum event, craving a taste of the spicy Caribbean food and tempted by the appearance of Reggae Reggae Sauce founder Levi Roots and kids’ TV favourite Floella Benjamin.

But the Forest Hill museum has pledged people will not see scenes like those again, after it was claimed that roads were gridlocked, cars were parked in residents’ drives, and people brawled in the streets over spaces.

horniman_jerk

Scores of residents have written objection letters to Lewisham Council over new licence plans, one even claiming: “During the festival there were numerous, quite appalling instances of visitors urinating and defecating in residents’ front gardens.”

Terrible scenes, but at least they weren’t jerking in the front garden? Every cloud, etc.

If you don’t think you’ve experienced pandemonium in your life so far, just imagine what it’s like to see people tearing up parking tickets and then having to cancel a family meal, because that’s apparently what pandemonium is.

David Lister, 67 of Sydenham Rise, told News Shopper chaos was caused by the museum’s lack of parking facilities.

He said: “The jerk festival was pandemonium. People were just tearing parking tickets up and throwing them in the air.

“I had to cancel my family coming to dinner because people had parked in my drive. There were even cars on the lawn.”

ARRRGGHHH! CARS on the LAWN!!!

Thank you to Gez Daring.

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Written by Paddy

January 16, 2013 at 7:33 pm

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