The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

The plight of Caistor’s tree in a box

with 3 comments

From time to time, local newspapers attract people who are prepared to engage in Letters Page War with other correspondents.

In this case, narky oddball Nino Hoblyn of North Street, Caistor, drags the new editor of the Market Rasen Mail into the matter and criticises him for regularly printing the local Tory MP’s letters. He even finds time to squeeze in an accusation of a freemason conspiracy. Excellent work.

Market Rasen Mail, 14 July 2010:

Letter: Other matters do need addressing, starting with Caistor’s boxed tree

EDITOR – Am I the only regular reader of the Market Rasen Mail who is beginning to wonder if the “New Kid On The Block, Paul Fisher” hasn’t been doing some of those funny little deeds with Edward Leigh MP where certain very strange handshakes are done in secret?

Because if the answer to this is “Nay Mr Wilks”, then why may I ask is dear Eddy Leigh slotting his tuppence with each and every week in telling us the reader, things that should be kept to the likes of “Jackanory”.

For how many times does one have to shout before one goes blue in the face, that we have more concerning issues in our own lines of much greater importance, the “Offending tree in a box in Caistor Market Square”.

This man’s apparent fondness for using excessive quotation marks is highly intriguing, but still not quite as intriguing as this “offending tree in a box”. Pray tell, what is the story behind this myserious box-bound woody plant?

Thanks to the work of intrepid Lincolnshire native Anna Holden, we have what some may call a photograph:

Who’d have thought an innocuous white stick in a box could lead to this?:

Oh yes sir! This may seem a most trivial topic to those with no understanding of tree’s but let me please inform you that trees should be planted in the ground and not in a box.

Let’s not forget trees also have feelings and as a humans, a box is for those who no longer live, so why condemn the tree in a box while it still breaths and enjoys gods wonderful planet.

So come on let’s release the tree back into the wild where it will smile for each and everyday of its long life and thus growing leaves more greener and a trunk thicker, will then be saying to all of us “Thanks-you”.

NINO HOBLYN

North Street, Caistor

Oh dear. Yes, the man is a mentalist.

Mind you, you know you’ve done well when your letter manages to tease out an editorial response.

Editor’s Note: The Market Rasen Mail strives to be entirely independent in its coverage of all matters. As MP for our district I feel our readers are interested in Mr Leigh’s views and actions and so the newspaper regularly carries letters from Mr Leigh.

FREEMASON ALERT.

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Written by Paddy

December 15, 2010 at 12:18 pm

3 Responses

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  1. Top marks. I like the contrived aren’t-I-clever prose at the beginning and the way it descends into poorly-spelt shouty nonsense at the end. The degradation in grammar and spelling matches the fall in logic and sanity perfectly.

    Alfred H Lister

    January 6, 2011 at 12:21 pm

  2. I will now start every point I make with, “as a humans”.

    Alfred H Lister

    January 6, 2011 at 12:22 pm

  3. This guy is a total nutjob, if you look on the Coldstream Guards forum, nobody has heard of him despite the fact that he claims to be an ex guardsman himself, fantatist and hopefully a harmless one.

    Tony ward

    October 7, 2011 at 9:08 pm


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