The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

TODDLERS have been left in tears…

with 4 comments

Yet more upset children blighting the news. But this time it’s about ‘TODDLERS’, a word which is so much more emotive and heart-rending when appearing in capital letters.

Exeter Express & Echo, 21 July 2010 (story):

Children distraught after playground equipment is stolen from garden

TODDLERS have been left in tears after thieves stole their prized monkey bars from an Exeter front garden.

Joanne Grimshaw, 39, a registered childminder in Shakespeare Road, Wonford, had to comfort her son, three-year-old Samuel, and three other under-fives who she looks after when the theft was discovered.

Joanne said: “I cannot understand how someone could do such a thing. It has left the children very upset.

“Samuel could only cry ‘monkey bars gone’ when he peered out of the window and saw what had happened.

“It was a dome-like structure that took me more than an hour to assemble — although it said on the box it would take only 20 minutes.

“I hope it has not gone far and perhaps it has been taken away by youngsters who just want to play with it.

“It happened over Saturday night and Sunday morning and I just hope we can get them back soon for the sake of the children.”

Won’t somebody think of the sake of the children? FFS.

It’s wonderful that she gets in a quick moan about the length of time it took her to assemble the monkey bars. An hour to assemble… one minute to steal. There is no justice.

Thanks to Jo Clarke.

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Written by Paddy

August 6, 2010 at 11:11 am

Posted in Heartless bastards

4 Responses

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  1. I’m glad. The only good TODDLERS are upset ones.

    MKTBFFS

    August 6, 2010 at 11:47 am

  2. I’m clearly old fashioned, in my day, swings etc were kept in the BACK garden to stop me and my friends from being tempted to run near the road when we were playing. I’d be very concerned if I was dropping my child off with this lady on a daily basis…..but I’m not so I can relish her stupidity at my leisure!!

    Lily

    August 6, 2010 at 1:17 pm

  3. “Samuel could only cry ‘monkey bars gone’…”

    And will probably utter nothing else till his dying day, so great was the trauma.

    Mo

    August 6, 2010 at 3:59 pm

  4. An entire HOUR’s work? It’s like the Vandals sacking Rome all over again.

    I’ve sent an email to Carol Ann Duffy asking her to write a poem.

    Scott

    August 8, 2010 at 12:12 pm


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