The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

Hellraising a toast

with 3 comments

Forget ‘daddy or chips?’, this is a real-life case of ‘the kids or toast?’. It’s clear where this father’s loyalties lie.

Blackpool Gazette, 26 May 20010:

Man slapped girlfriend in toast row

A MAN slapped his girlfriend’s face when she told him she was too busy with the children to make toast.

Dominic Hulme, 22, of Horsebridge Road, Grange Park, admitted assaulting his partner on May 15.

He was sentenced to two years’ supervision and ordered to complete a domestic violence programme by magistrates.

David Charnley, defending, said his client had been in a relationship with his partner for nine years and admitted slapping her after she made a lewd remark about his mother.

Thanks to Mark Palmer. On reflection, though, this is an appalling news report. Key details are left out, and the story is inconsistent. Did he slap her because of the toast snub or the lewd remark about his mother? Or would it be possible to combine the two? ‘Yer mum’s a slag and yer can make yer own toast.’ Yes, it is possible. But shame on the Blackpool Gazette for not exploring this.

It is worth noting, however, that this isn’t the first time food-related violence has erupted in the Blackpool Gazette: Man threw profiteroles at wife. Whatever happened to ‘the family that eats together stays together’…?


Written by Paddy

July 11, 2010 at 5:34 pm

Posted in Editorial

3 Responses

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  1. “Dominic, 22” … “had been in a relationship with his partner for nine years”

    Impressive. Or weird, haven’t decided.


    July 11, 2010 at 7:06 pm

  2. He’s probably served in the Royal Navy for 30 years too.


    July 11, 2010 at 10:54 pm

  3. Maybe it was a stepsibling relationship. That would explain her insight about his mother.


    July 19, 2010 at 3:45 pm

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