The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

‘Swan eyed polling card like a piece of bread’

with 2 comments

The multitudinous hurdles encountered by The Great British Public in attempting to exercise its vote in the recent general election have been well documented in the national media. But the turnout on 6 May wasn’t only limited by the damp weather, understaffed polling stations, or the neoliberal-economic political elite’s deliberate disenfranchisement of the working class since the 1980s.

Oh no, there was something altogether more sinister going on that day near Staines. But then again, isn’t there always?

Staines News, 11 May 2010 (story):

‘Swan eyed polling card like a piece of bread’

VOTERS at a Thorpe polling station had more to contend with than trying to decide which party to vote for on Thursday (April [sic] 6).

A group of unruly swans that rest on Truss’ Island during the day caused consternation to several voters, who had to negotiate the orange beaks on their way to the small polling station hut, situated in the car park.

The swans are regularly fed on the riverbank here so view any humans arriving, as a potential source of food.

One voter, who did not wish to be named, said: “It was a bit intimidating as they all gathered around me when I got out the car. I thought they were going to peck at me, one kept looking at my polling card – I think he thought it was a piece of bread.”

Rumours are rife that election returning officers will soon be required to declare the number of spoilt batch loaves.

While we’re here, this article concludes with a baffling observation from one voter:

The swans dispersed to the water later in the afternoon, leaving people to cast their votes hassle-free. Asked what he thought about the potential for a hung parliament, one voter said it was a ‘mute’ point.

Does the Staines News reporter know there’s no such thing as a ‘mute’ point, and therefore they’ve employed the inverted commas in order to mock the voter’s error? Or have they themselves made the classic error of mishearing and misunderstanding the concept of a moot point? With utterly hilarious consequences for all of us, obviously. We’ll probably never know now; most frustrating.


Written by Paddy

June 10, 2010 at 12:03 pm

2 Responses

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  1. Or maybe either they, or the voter, were making a hilarious reference to the birds being mute swans?


    June 10, 2010 at 1:50 pm

  2. Ah, so it was a hilarious comment on one of their parts after all and I’m the fool. I repent. I’m not very good with swans.


    June 10, 2010 at 4:46 pm

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