The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

The Cult of Alfred H Lister (Part II)

with 2 comments

Welcome to the second installment of the most wonderfully-crafted bundles of wisdom from Alfred H Lister, long-standing literary treasure and ‘letters columnist’ of north-east England. (Read Part I here.)

Police are yet to establish Alfred’s motive for this letter inexplicably comparing the merits of Mike Amos, a columnist in The Northern Echo, and Simon Jenkins of national title The Times.

The Northern Echo, 24 May 2005:

HARD TIMES

While I’d feel dead at ease in columnist Mike Amos’s (Echo, May 18) presence, I’m not so sure how I would feel alongside The Times columnist (now retired) Simon Jenkins: London ain’t the least bit parochial, unlike say, Darlington.

The thing is that The Times and The Northern Echo aren’t aimed at the same market. And how, I wonder, would Mike Amos fare as a columnist for The Times, itself more prestigious (when folded under the arm) than this newspaper? Which isn’t meant as an insult to the readership; which includes myself, a letters columnist.

Most certainly Mike Amos would need to adjust to The Times’s manifestly upmarket readership. Which would really take some adjustment, particularly after writing in The Northern Echo – pretty much parochially – for many years.

Alfred H Lister, Guisborough

In the next letter Alfred H Lister reveals a vehemently pro-monarchist  stance, winning his argument by pointing out the queen is well proper sophisticated and that.

The Northern Echo, date unknown:

REPUBLICANISM

DEMOTING the British aristocracy, Royalty included, amounts to no more than a pipedream (HAS, Nov 7).

It took a people’s revolution in France to get shot of the aristocracy. And what a particularly nasty business this belligerency was: the mob, out of control, went mad, and heads galore rolled.

Class transcends all social boundaries, which is why our Queen, the epitome of elegance and refinement, makes an excellent foreign ambassador. Just take a good look at our sophisticated Queen and then think, if you can, of any other woman of such high calibre.

Agreed, Buckingham Palace amounts to “the largest council house in Westminster” but isn’t it impressive? More so as the Queen’s residence.

Perhaps pro-Republicans can’t recognise high culture.

Alfred H Lister, Guisborough

Perhaps.

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Written by Paddy

June 2, 2010 at 10:39 am

2 Responses

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  1. We’re not called pro-Republicans, we’re called republicans. The pro- prefix is tautological. It’d be like saying pro-racist…

    Scott

    June 2, 2010 at 5:48 pm

  2. Ha ha. I’m not pro-racist but….

    Gez

    June 7, 2010 at 7:12 pm


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