The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

Tits and nuts

with 4 comments

Calling the people of Sunbury-on-Thames, Surrey, England… you are one step closer to the glory of knowing you have spawned the face of BigD nuts.

Staines News, 21 May 2010 (story):

Sunbury Page 3 girl wants your vote

PAGE 3 model and Sunbury girl Rosie Jones is one step closer to becoming the face of BigD nuts.

The local lass, who is featured regularly in weekly lads magazines Zoo and Nuts, has reached the semi finals of a competition which could see her become the face of the snack’s ad campaigns for the next four years.

Rosie, who attended St Ignatius School, in Green Street, and St Paul’s College, in The Ridings, is up against 20 other girls all eyeing the final in July.

Regional newspapers love nothing more than a local boy or girl done good. They relentlessly hype their home-grown celebrities and report their every move, however small their fame or futile their endeavours. Any article about them will contain the obligatory ‘town name + gender identifier’ reference (“Sunbury girl”, “Chichester lad”,  “Spalding transsexual”) and, of course, a list of the local schools they attended. We couldn’t be doing without that.

The celebrities themselves are often willing to capitalise on this misplaced local pride by offering quotes to the paper too.

Rosie, 19, said: “I am honoured to be in the semi final and it is really exciting to think that I could soon be appearing in thousands of pubs throughout the country. I have the chance to put my home town of Sunbury on the map. I hope the people of Sunbury can show their support and vote for me.”

I have a sneaky feeling Sunbury might rather not be ‘on the map’ at all.

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Written by Paddy

May 31, 2010 at 6:21 pm

4 Responses

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  1. I can’t help but think that catholic education (surely…?) at St. Ignatius and St. Paul’s was slightly lost on her!

    Iain H

    June 1, 2010 at 7:33 pm

  2. Never mind ‘Bid D’ I wouldn’t mind her face on my ‘nuts’…

    shandog

    June 2, 2010 at 1:46 pm

  3. SUNBURY: consider yourself ‘on the map’.

    On behalf of the Nether Regions, I’d like to officially congratulate Rosie on her impending four-year period of nut-related degradation.

    Paddy

    July 20, 2010 at 11:23 pm


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