The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

Where is the poetic justice?

with one comment

At first glance, it could have been just any old protest at plans to close a local primary school. But then the affected children publicly unburdened their souls through deeply moving verse. The Staines News was first on the scene.

Staines News, 18 February 2010 (story):

Pupils write poems to save Shortwood School

DISHEARTENED school children have visited the Mayor of Spelthorne to read poems to try and stop the closure of their school.

Children aged between five and seven visited Caroline Spencer in her offices at Spelthorne Council, in Knowle Green, on Wednesday, and read stories and poems about the possible closure of Shortwood Infant School, in Stanwell New Road, Staines.

Shouldn't you lot be in school?

Just imagine having to stare these children in the face when they’ve finished reading their poems and tell them their school is still getting bulldozed to make way for an Aldi.

Although Mrs Spencer had to remain non-political due to her post, she said ‘it was lovely to meet the children and I had great fun hearing their works.’

One of the poems was written by six-year-old Georgina Clark, which said: “I am at the end of my Shortwood years, but the council (Surrey) have brought me to tears.”

Mrs Buckingham’s daughter Carys, also read a poem, which said: “The teachers are so great, but don’t forget our mates.”

Mrs Buckingham said the children were competing to write the best poem, and said that kind of competition is what makes the school worth keeping open.

Despite the fact there’s always a good story in emotional blackmail like this, the report disgracefully fails to quote any more extracts from the children’s poetry. There will have surely been further tear-jerking nuggets of youthful resentment left unreported:

“We may be practically toddlers, but even we know this is cobblers.”

“If I end up unable to spell, I hope you’ll burn in hell.”

“When Shortwood gets the axe, where do you expect us to play Kissy Cats?”

“It’s not just the council (Surrey) we hate, but in fact decades of flawed national education policy and the increasing reliance upon market forces in the delivery of schooling, mate.”


Written by Paddy

April 22, 2010 at 3:15 pm

One Response

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  1. In my experience most local councillors, mayor or not, are “non political”…


    April 24, 2010 at 9:13 am

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