The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

The Incredible Hulk

with 3 comments

There’s no doubt about it,  eyewitness accounts are dumbing down. First it was police in Bolton on the hunt for someone ‘white and large’, and now this.

Derby Telegraph, 15 March 2010 (story):

‘The hulk’ bit off my nose

A REVELLER has spoken of his horror at having part of his nose bitten off by a man who witnesses say looked like The Hulk.

Detective Constable Manjit Johal said: “A search of the dance floor was carried out but the nose was not found.

“The victim can’t recall any clothing but a lot of witnesses have told us that he had a ripped top and looked like The Hulk.

“We assume this lad has got a taxi at about 1am, and we would like to hear from taxi drivers if they remember taking someone home who looks like The Hulk.”

Judging by the average crowd in Booze Britain’s town centres at weekends, the Derbyshire Constabulary will no doubt have been inundated with calls.

Thank you to Mary Harmon.

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Written by Paddy

April 6, 2010 at 10:52 am

3 Responses

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  1. Where are all these “revellers”? They only exist in papers don’t they? Like “romps” and “stunnas”.

    Gez

    April 7, 2010 at 1:31 pm

  2. You mock, but maybe he was green, in which case it would be a fairly accurate description. Although not as accurate as “HE WAS FUCKING GREEN.”

    Ellie

    April 7, 2010 at 9:40 pm

  3. Perhaps he was green with envy about the reveller’s nose, and just had to have it.

    Paddy

    April 9, 2010 at 10:32 am


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