The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

Frogs: massacred

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It’s hard to believe there hasn’t yet been an episode of hit nostalgia crime series Heartbeat based on this storyline. I’d like to see PC Alf Ventress try to get to the bottom of this one.

Scarborough Evening News, 26 March 2009 (story):

Frogs death: Who did it?

FROGS have been found massacred at a Scarborough beauty spot.

Children are believed to be responsible for the attacks which were discovered by visitors to Quarry Mount Park, off Seamer Road.

Roger Burnett, Scarborough Council’s parks and countryside manager, said: “Last week we received a call about children attacking the frogs as well as squashing the frog spawn… I would imagine this is upsetting for anyone witnessing it.”

The headline really sets the reader up for a meandering ‘whodunnit?’ of boundless intrigue, only for the second paragraph to immediately kill off any suspense as abruptly as a child’s fist plunging through some frog spawn. Anyone lured into purchasing the paper by the headline alone will surely have been left cursing.

Thanks to Callum Saunders for the photo.

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Written by Paddy

March 30, 2010 at 10:45 am

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