The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

Super Size Louth

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Local interest grass-roots campaigns just aren’t what they used to be. Proof, if proof be need be, is provided by this most depressing of Facebook campaigns calling for a McDonalds to be built in Louth, Lincolnshire.

Louth Leader, 12 January 2010:

Online fast-food fans join form petition for McDonalds in Louth

[…] The group, created by Fatbiker (online name) is acting as a type of petition set up to show Louth Town Council how many people want a McDonald’s in Louth.

So far 370 fast-food fanatics have joined the group and many admit they frequently drive the 15 miles to Grimsby to satisfy their junk-food cravings.

One member of the group writes: “They shud make one in the town centre in Louth so people who shop in Louth can eat der instead of having fish and chips”.

Another agreed saying: “We def need one, then we won’t have to travel 16 miles to keep the kiddies happy”.

While other posts support any fast-food restaurant which sets its sights on Louth, saying: “A fast food outlet YES, be it KFC or BK (Burger King) or Mcd’s (McDonalds)”.

Good grief.

Thankfully for Louth (there are three words you don’t hear often), the Leader was able to report some good news for the anti-McDonald’s set after securing an exclusive interview with a suspiciously automated-sounding spokesman for the Fast Food Giant®.

A spokesperson said: “McDonald’s wants to delight its customers every day and we would love to open new stores in every location where there is demand but sadly we have no current plans to open a restaurant in this location”.

Naturally, this report meant it all kicked off on the Louth Leader letters page the following week. This first letter signals a welcome return for the favoured retort of choice for those opposing the introduction of new amenities to their local area: if you want [insert amenity], then move!

Louth Leader, 20 January 2010:

Burger fans should move!

EDITOR – I have a fantastic money saving scheme for all the people living in Louth who want a McDonald’s on their doorstep – move to Grimsby!!

Not only will you get tiny burgers for only 99p but you’ll be able to sell your house in Louth and get one in Grimsby for half the price leaving you tens of thousands of pounds to spend in Tesco and Asda!!

Honestly – if being near a Tesco or a McDonald’s is really important then MOVE!

Adrian Budd,
Eastgate,
Louth

Meanwhile, email account owner Melanie Jones appears to be operating under the misapprehension that students never eat with their fingers.

Louth Leader, 20 January 2010:

McDonalds would kill the town’s character

EDITOR – Absolutely NO to a Mcdonalds in Louth.

My reasons are -–

1) It is important Louth keeps its character and diversity of individual shops and takeaways. When shops are individually owned, the owners take care of them and have a pride in their businesses. Profit made re-enters the community.

2) Parents should be investing in their children’s future health by teaching them good nutrition. Food is not a choice between fish and chips or McDonalds. There are alternatives, and what is wrong with cooking decent food at home.

3) McDonalds is a retrograde step for learning decent table manners. How many children nowadays know table etiquette? Some regard this as snobby or posh – but if these children take a university education and have to mix socially, McDonalds will not really give the grounding.

Eating out of a piece of tissue paper with fingers is hardly civilised.

Melanie Jones,
Sent via email

Thanks to regular McDonald’s user Anna Holden for continuing to maintain Lincolnshire’s place in the national consciousness.

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Written by Paddy

February 23, 2010 at 2:27 pm

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