The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

Gazette Faces, Vol. 4

with 6 comments

It’s time for the next installment of facial bypasses.

Redcar club owner hits out over signs

Snakes give Marton neighbours fright of their lives

Minister speaks out after theft from Stockton church

Lingdale’s nothing like the Wild West say villagers

I’ve been to Lingdale plenty of times, and can confirm it’s nothing like the wild west. Not that I’ve been to the wild west, mind you.

Middlesbrough Evening Gazette, 5 February 2010:

[…] Another Lingdale man, who asked not to be named, said: “They seem to be saying Lingdale is lawless, but its just like anywhere else.” A young woman said: “I dont think Lingdale is any more violent than other places on Teesside.”

And another local man said: “It’s got blown out of proportion by these lawyers. They’ve probably never been to Lingdale!”

A married local couple, originating from Boosbeck, said: “We find it a friendly place.”

Case closed.

Gresham residents in plea as parking problems escalate

Netherfields pensioner’s lucky escape after neighbour hits outhouse with car

Brave dad beats off robbers in Norton shop attack

Thorntree couple speak out after yobs set fire to car

Fury at Saltburn allotments fire

Dog walker attacked by horse in Redcar

Middlesbrough Evening Gazette, 11 February 2010 (story):

A WARNING was flashed today after a shocked dog walker was chased, head-butted and bitten by a horse.

Sue Cooper says her early morning stroll became a nightmare yesterday when a horse in Redcar’s Coatham Enclosure area turned nasty. […]

“I turned round and all I could see was this big mouth and teeth coming at me.”

Sue, who had Jester [her dog] on a lead, says the horse “headbutted her” in the back, knocking her onto the muddy grass.

Covered in mud, she got up and ran, still pursued by the piebald horse.

“I felt its hot breath on me and I had slaver all over my coat,” said Sue. […]

When the Gazette visited the scene yesterday afternoon, the horse was on a long blue leash and seemed more interested in eating grass than chasing our photographer – or a clearly nervous Sue for that matter. But we didn’t have a dog with us, as many who walk there do.

Aaahhhh! Slaver all over her coat!

For good measure, even the horse gets in on the action: Why the long Gazette Face?

Link: Gazette Faces catalogue

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Written by Paddy

February 19, 2010 at 11:13 am

Posted in Gazette Faces

6 Responses

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  1. The picture of the woman with the horse in the background: sheer brilliance.
    “Is he still there? Okay, just talk normally, like nothing’s wrong. Is … I can’t turn around .. is he still there?”

    Khongor

    February 19, 2010 at 2:13 pm

  2. “Netherfields pensioner’s lucky escape after neighbour hits outhouse with car”

    How can you offer this headline and not follow up with the full story?! Why on earth does he have an outhouse? Is he now constipated as his outhouse is out of action, as his picture seems to suggest? We must be told!

    Sarah Hamstera

    February 19, 2010 at 3:12 pm

  3. It takes a very brave dad to turn a robbery into a masturbation session. Still, he seems happy with the outcome.

    Nowtas

    February 19, 2010 at 4:00 pm

  4. The sexual connotations of shop robbery are all too clear. Now we know the tights-over-the-head thing is just another homoerotic ritual.

    Sorry about the outhouse story. I decided it was too tragic to feature:

    “The pensioner’s aviary was damaged and all but three canaries of his 25 birds, which included other canaries and finches, were lost. His dog Molly was pulled out of the debris but later put down by a vet.”

    http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/2009/09/24/netherfields-pensioner-s-lucky-escape-after-neighbour-hits-outhouse-with-car-84229-24771020/

    Paddy

    February 21, 2010 at 4:59 pm

  5. “FURY at Saltburn Allotments Fire.”

    Oh yes! The fury is written all over his face. He’s livid.

    Michael Laverick

    February 22, 2010 at 9:40 pm

  6. Is that a HAND protruding from that burned out car? Or just an unfortunate trick of the eye?

    Natasha Griffiths

    February 23, 2010 at 7:36 pm


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