The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

Teddy where?

with 5 comments

Middlesbrough Evening Gazette, 7 November 2009:

Girl’s plea to Gazette readers over missing Teddy

A HEARTBROKEN little girl is hoping a Gazette reader has spotted her missing teddy bear.

Six-year-old Rebecca Howard was out shopping with her mum, Miriam McCann, sister Phoebe, four, six- month-old brother Zack, and Teddy.

Except Teddy went missing in one of the shops on Stockton’s Portrack Lane, and hasn’t been seen since.

“Rebecca is distraught – her and Teddy go everywhere together and have done since she was 18 months old.

“He’s been to weddings, gone on holiday, they’re inseparable.

“When she realised he was missing, she was hysterical for about half an hour,” said Miriam, 28, of Harsley Road, Hartburn, Stockton.

Hysterical for half an hour, eh? Hardly surprising, really, judging by this girl’s stunning ability to turn on the melodrama for the camera at a moment’s notice.

She’s gone well beyond Gazette Face territory with these exceptional levels of self-pity. She doesn’t even know she’s born.

Excruciatingly, the online news story features a YouTube video jam-packed with emotional scenes of Rebecca and Teddy in better days.

Miriam contacted the Gazette after she made a solemn vow to her daughter to find Teddy, a gift from a family friend.

She even made a compilation of pictures and put it on the website youtube in the hope that someone’s memory might be jogged.

Rebecca can’t watch the video, set to the track “You’re My Best Friend” by Queen, because it upsets her.

Oh get a grip.

Have you seen Teddy? Call our newsdesk on 01642 234255.

No. Face it, love – Teddy has gone and is not coming back.


Written by Paddy

February 16, 2010 at 10:50 am

5 Responses

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  1. Mums will do almost anything to get their kids mugshots in the paper! Come on mum, own up, where’ve you hidden Teddy?


    February 16, 2010 at 11:14 am

  2. That, sir, is one of the finest examples of the art ever to have been burned to celluloid.

    Excellent work by all concerned.


    February 16, 2010 at 12:22 pm

  3. The baby ate it.


    February 16, 2010 at 8:36 pm

  4. Next stop Crimewatch!

    John Shannon

    February 17, 2010 at 3:22 pm

  5. Check out the Gazette face on the baby in the first pic and the elephant in the second,


    February 17, 2010 at 4:34 pm

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