The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

Nottingham’s loss is Cambridge’s gain

with 11 comments

This letter to the editor is straight out of the once-bitten-twice-shy school of tourism.

Nottingham Evening Post, 26 January 2010:

Letter: We won’t return to Nottingham

MY partner and myself have just been for our first ever stay in Nottingham, even though we are pensioners and live only in the next county.

We were delighted with the city. Our hotel was fine, as were our visits to Nottingham Contemporary, the Castle Museum and Art Gallery, the Galleries of Justice (what a superb lady guide!) and the Broadmarsh Shopping Centre (where we spent £230 we could not afford, but did so happily as the merchandise was so well displayed in a multitude of shops).

But everything was spoilt at the last going-off, by an officious twerp in the bus station at that shopping centre.

He told us that I could not take a souvenir picture of my partner in the bus station, as it was “private property”.

I told him that I had lost two uncles in the war, fighting Hitler. And now we were breeding little Hitlers like this idiot.

He managed to sour the taste of a great two days in Nottingham. We will not return to be insulted by such people.

We will spend our money in Cambridge instead.

And there, pensioners have free parking and free bus travel from the Park and Ride.

We were astonished to see that the trams in Nottingham do not respect the national over 60s free bus pass.

So that is a second reason why we won’t return.

Carry on scoring own goals Nottingham, and you will get no tourists spending in your shops.

VIN ADAMSWOOD, Woodrow Park, Scartho, Grimsby

The superb lady guide! at the Galleries of Justice is the only one to emerge from all of this with any credit whatsoever.

Presumably Vin travels to various towns and cities and immediately submits equally no-holds-barred analyses of their relative credentials to the local newspapers upon getting back home. Cambridge had better be on its best behaviour.

I’m not sure Nottingham can continue. Not after this.


Written by Paddy

January 31, 2010 at 4:46 pm

11 Responses

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  1. Can towns just end like that?

    Duncsnoaii Paoee

    January 31, 2010 at 5:16 pm

  2. i’ve been to the galleries of justice, and yes, the lady guide is top notch

    Jonathon Oake

    January 31, 2010 at 6:45 pm

  3. Scartho to Nottingham: 73 miles; 1 hr 58 mins
    Scartho to Cambridge: 132 miles; 2 hrs 49 mins

    Is that going to be a regular shopping detour? Talk about cutting off your uncle’s nose to spite Hitler’s face.

    P.S. I think Vin is the real hero here, because she bravely reveals the truth behind capitalist consumer fetishism i.e. spending £230 she couldn’t afford just because the things on the shelf are ‘so well displayed’. That’s what we fought a war for, etc.


    January 31, 2010 at 8:57 pm

  4. I’ve been to Nottingham several times (my wife and in-laws hail from there). Having been on and off buses at the Broadmarsh Centre more times than I can remember, I have to ask what kind of disturbed would want a souvenir photograph of the bus station?

    Presumably the kind who writes angry letters to the local paper of a town they swear never to return to, so would presumably never see the damn letter in the first place…


    January 31, 2010 at 10:14 pm

  5. Dear All,

    We’ve had a look at this, had a bit of a think and all in all, decided it’s best if we just call it a day.

    Ta ra.



    February 1, 2010 at 1:56 pm

  6. “He told us that I could not take a souvenir picture of my partner in the bus station, as it was ‘private property’.
    I told him that I had lost two uncles in the war, fighting Hitler.”

    First, they came for the people taking souvenir pictures in the bus station. But I was taking souvenir photos at the rail station, so I said nothing. Then …


    February 1, 2010 at 4:04 pm

  7. Don’t give it all up yet, Nottingham; you still have that mythical male:female ratio in your favour to attract stag dos.

    The bit about spending £230 because the goods were so well displayed does indeeed cut straight to the heart of what drives consumer culture, i.e. the reliance upon attaching extraneous considerations and meaningless emotions to purchases rather than considering the usefulness of the product itself. I’ll give Vin (surely a male name) that.


    February 1, 2010 at 9:24 pm

  8. I live and work in Nottingham, but hail from up the road. I have similar feelings about Grimsby, where, once upon a time, a lady was very rude to me in a fish shop concerning some haddocks. Writing on other peoples blogs just doesn’t get me the recognition I feel my ire deserves.


    February 3, 2010 at 10:47 am

  9. We love Nottingham! Sadly every city has the odd numpty though. My husband and I write our own city guides and you’ll notice the absence of a mention for the Broadmarsh Bus Station as a great place to visit…



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