The Nether Regions

The blog that slips an affectionate hand between the thighs of the regional media

Hatful of Sorrow

with 4 comments

Imagine the scene: it’s Christmas Eve and you’ve had a frantic day of last-minute Christmas shopping and pram-dodging out in the freezing cold streets. At the end of it all, you’re gasping for a pint. You walk into a pub and go to the bar, drooling with gay abandon at the prospect of imminently quenching the most overwhelming of all thirsts. All of a sudden, a member of the bar staff asks you to remove your hat. Do you:

(a) take off your hat and relax with a drink in the warm, contented glow brought by the knowledge it is Christmas Day tomorrow; or

(b) run crying to the local newspaper.

Lancashire Evening Post, 4 January 2010:

‘We’re not serving you unless you take your hat off’

By Matthew Squires

With the mercury dropping below zero, a Preston mum-of-one thought her trendy woolly hat would be the perfect protection against the freezing temperatures.

But she was left stunned after pub staff refused to serve her until she took it off. Caroline Lonergan says staff at The Wheatsheaf, Watery Lane, Ashton, told her it was pub policy that she had to remove her woolly hat. When she asked why, she was told it was because it had a peak.

PC gone mad. It’s easy to empathise with Caroline’s anger, really, because she is white, most probably middle class, wears a lovely, elegant scarf, and the hat is from Marks & Spencer, for God’s sake. Thus she is clearly not subject to an ASBO, and has every right to expect to be treated differently to everyone else.

Peak strict

After taking off her hat, she went to the bathroom but realised she did not have a brush.

“I came out and just felt embarrassed,” she added.

“I told the manager and he said, ‘You can put it back on’.”

But when she went back to the bar to get another round she was again told she would not be served while she was wearing it.

She added: “It was just embarrassing circumstances really. If they’d said to me ‘sorry Caroline you have to take it off now please’ and I’d have said ‘sorry I didn’t realise, but if I can keep it on now I won’t wear it again in here’ that would have been fine.”

Oh shut up.

Link: ‘We’re not serving you unless you take your hat off’

Heartfelt thanks to the excellent Angry people in local newspapers blog for featuring this story.

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Written by Paddy

January 22, 2010 at 9:21 am

4 Responses

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  1. The very first time I went out into a pub in the UK, I left my cap on. We had been sitting having some drinks and a girl sat down and said to me “you’re not from here, are you?”

    I told her I had just moved there. I can tell because people don’t wear hats inside here.

    And she was not offering polite advice, either.

    dave

    January 22, 2010 at 12:54 pm

  2. When my hair looks a mess, I often find that if I wasn’t bright enough to pack a brush that day, running my hand through my hair does the trick and saves much embarrassment. Simples…

    Ziggy

    January 22, 2010 at 3:25 pm

  3. Has someone really decided that “lep” is a better name than the Lancashire Evening Post?

    Ellie

    January 22, 2010 at 6:05 pm

  4. She added: “It was just embarrassing circumstances really. If they’d said to me ’sorry Caroline you have to take it off now please’ and I’d have said ’sorry I didn’t realise, but if I can keep it on now I won’t wear it again in here’ that would have been fine.”

    At which point exactly would Caroline have deemed this shocking ordeal “fine”. When they guessed her name? Surely she is not a regular customer of an establishment with such utter disregard for it’s patrons head heat needs!

    Was it in fact the lack of urgency from the bar staff in terms of when exactly the hat should be removed? It’s unlikely that the bar staff were particularly rude, as otherwise it would have been a double page spread, but thankfully The Lancashire Evening Post had enough to go on to publish this – certainly I for one will not be frequenting The Wheatsheaf, Watery Lane, Ashton if they see fit to actually serve such moaning, poe-faced mutton-dressed-as-lamb bints.

    Chad

    January 26, 2010 at 12:58 pm


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